Sanitarium, Leave Me Be
by TaylorPaige24
Summary: Dally always knew he'd die in New York. He also knew it would be Maggot holding the knife. The thing about Dallas Winston though is that he's a fighter, and he's not going to go down with out a fight. Not this time. Book 5 of 5
1. Welcome To

**Disclaimer: **It feels odd writing one of these again. I don't own the_ Outsiders_ or the song "Run, Run, Run"

**A/N: **I am very happy to be back again. My plan for this is for it to be super long. I don't want to have to shorten it so I'm dividing it into two stories. I hope that doesn't bother anyone but I don't want this to be eighty some chapters. This story will have a little over twenty by the end.

Welcome to book 4!

* * *

_Well you ain't the luckiest girl I know. And you won't get luckier the way you're going. Your horseshoe's rusty and your mirror's cracked. You walk under ladders then you walk right back. When you dropped that little pin. Never thought what a mess it'd get you in. Little pin, little pin, bring me luck. Because I stopped to pick you up._

He hasn't spoken since it happened. The world has shut down as far as he's concerned. His daily routine consists of three trips down the hall to the bathroom, fifteen hours of sleep, and the rest spent in the prison he's made out of his room. No one's allowed up there. It smells like death when I walk down the hall. When Soda walks by, he sighs a little and hangs his head and tries to force himself not to cry. When Darry walks by he shakes his head and makes an attempt to get the door open but every time he loses or just gives up.

The town has stopped moving, stop functioning. We all have. Day by day goes by. School isn't even a distraction anymore. Get up, shower, force breakfast down my throat, clean, do laundry, try to pick up the pieces of the broken ones.

It's a task I can never cross off my list.

We're out of food again. I make a mental note to go by the store because I can't stand being in this house any longer but I'm also afraid to leave of fear of what may happen when I'm gone.

The house is quiet in the day when everyone's gone and it's just me and the shadow of doom and darkness. I find myself wondering around and talking to myself just so I can say something to someone that day. Why do we have so many clothes? Aren't we supposed to be poor? Where did all this stuff come from?

I remember when the phone call happened. I remember the lights outside and the screams and the rain and the blood...

"Hello?"

"How is he?"

Darry calls every hour, asking the same thing. I always respond: "Fine."

By fine I mean I can hear him breathing and that's good enough for now.

Jennie drops by every day at lunch to tell me all the gossip at the diner. "Lisa Ray is such a whore. Did I tell you she undoes two buttons on her top every day to wipe off the tables just to get tips?"

Lisa Ray is the girl who replaced me when I turned in my two week notice. It's hard to work when you're busy trying to keep everything from falling apart.

"I brought you a burger," she says, handing me the Styrofoam box and fork, like she's going to fed it to me if I don't do it myself. "I brought him a-"

"He won't take it," I tell her, sticking the fork in the potato salad and letting it stick there.

It doesn't stop her from trying. Jennie's a pusher. No matter how many nos she gets, she determined that the next one will be a yes though it never is.

I hear her come down the stairs so I take a bite of the burger even though it's cold and it has cheese on it. Anything to show that I'm trying because I am. She's worried about the wrong person.

"Have you heard from-"

"No." Same bullshit question, different day. "Sorry. Today's not a good day."

"Have there been _any_ good days?"

No. Not since it happened.

The phone rings and Jennie goes to pick it up so I can eat. It's been half an hour, it's Soda's turn to call and check in.

I manage to get down a few bites of cold meant and cheese before throwing it out for the stray cats. I wish we had a dog. Pony always wanted a dog. We had an imaginary one when we were little. We called him Skipper and he went everywhere with us for five years until we forgot all about Skipper and started focusing on other things like boys and girls and beer.

My head rests on the side post of the house. A few crows have taken claim on my burger and the street is filled with silence, like it has been for weeks.

"Has he called you? Don't shut me out either or I swear I will smack you. I'm not afraid of you Danni."

I shake my head, giving her an answer but not the answer she wants.

Her sticky warm breath is at my ear. "You don't fool me, Danni Curtis."

"He won't talk about it," I tell her. "He won't talk to anyone. I've tried to call. I don't know where he's gone if anywhere. I stay awake at night, afraid every time the phone rings, thinking it'll be someone wanting me to claim the body."

She passes me a smoke and we stand and enjoy it together. She doesn't say anything because she knows showing me sympathy is the last thing I want.

Jennie is the only person I can be around without wanting to drop a nuclear bomb. She understands things, and I like that.

"Wanna go get really drunk and trash the house?"

I shrug, heading back inside. "Cleaning it up will give me something to do tomorrow."

* * *

"Maybe we should post pone the wedding?"

"I told you no! Everything will be fine!"

This is the same conversation we've had for days now. Each time, I sit on the couch, eating chips, and watch it happen. Soda and I have a thing going where he looks at me from the kitchen, makes a face, and I return it with a mouth full of chewed up food and he laughs.

It's the little things these days.

"Darry..." Kathy whines. She's got her binder in front of her with pictures of what her dream wedding will be, and it makes me feel all the more worse for her.

Darry grumbles, crankily throwing down his blanket and rolling through the room. "No! You shouldn't have to do that. Everything will be fine by August. I'll make it be fine!"

And on that note, he slams the door to his room and stays there for the rest of the day.

It's Saturday and that's become the worst day. Everyone's home and it's like we're feeding off of each other's sadness and that makes everything feel all that more shitty.

I go into the kitchen and fix everyone lunch while Soda mows the lawn and Kathy and Darry talk in the bed room.

I fix a tray for our little jail bird and head upstairs. "Pone?"

He's lying on the bed with his face in his pillow. His arms are spread out on either side. He grunts to show that he's alive. It smells like death in here. I make a mental note to clean everything up later.

I sit the tray down on the night stand and sit down beside him on the bed. There are books all over the floor. Pages are torn and thrown everywhere. There are magazines that are the same. There are broken pieces of wood here and there from him wrecking his room when he found out. He crushed his old night stand. Literally crushed it by throwing it on the floor over and over again until nothing was left.

I haven't quite figured out what he does up here all day. Darry had a friend of Kathy's who is a therapist come up here once to talk to him. I never heard how that went but she didn't come back.

I sigh. "He's not dead yet, Pone."

"_Yet," _he says into his pillow. "He got shot in the fucking head. He's in a coma because he got shot in the _head._ Saying he's not going to die is like saying the sky's not blue."

I rub my head. I wish he wouldn't talk that way. "Well I brought you some strawberry ice cream. I know it's your favorite."

I don't get even a grunt as a response. So I leave the bowl on his night stand and take a step back. It'll be outside his door by night fall, licked clean. It always is.

Outside is where I spend a lot of time. Just sitting on the picnic table in the back yard, looking out at the street. I don't know what or who I'm waiting for. Each time though, I wish they would show up. Just once.

The smoke from my cigarette floats up in the air. I follow it with my eyes and take a deep breath.

The gate slams, calling my attention. Someone has shown up today. "Peter?"

Blood drips down his face. His shirt is covered with fresh and brown blood. One eye is swollen shut, the other beaten bloody and turned black. His nose is spewing most of the blood but there is also a deep gash in his head.

He leans against the fence, barely able to hold himself up. "Can I get some fucking help here? I'm kinda bleeding out of my head."

I quickly jump down from the table, throwing my cigarette down and stomping it out. I'm able to get to him before he falls over. He puts all his weight on me and stumbles. I'm not strong enough to keep him up.

"Soda!"

He doesn't answer. I let Peter's arm hang over my shoulder and I carry him through the yard and into the house. I carefully sit him down at the kitchen table and try to catch my breath. He's heavier than he looks.

"What happened!?"

"What does it look like?" he moans. I can't bear to look at the damage so I turn away. "I need pain meds. You got some?"

With my head still turned, I make my way to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. "Yeah, hang on."

"Smoking again?" he asks before I get a chance to leave, making me stop dead in my tracks. "What, is that your third or second pack today?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't."

Soda enters the room. His eyes go to Peter and he stands, frozen. The image is enough to make you stare and gag all at the same time. He stares for a few seconds and we all stand and watch.

"Wh-"

"He got jumped," I say. I go to the bathroom and get out the first aid kit and start to wonder where Darry and Kathy are. Our only nurse in this house and she's never around when something like this happens.

I've seen the bruises and cuts before. I've seen someone beaten by the same people who beat Peter. I don't have to ask who did it. No one does. I can hear Soda quietly talking to him next door and I sit down on the edge of the tub and breathe.

This is too much. Each day it's the same worries. The worries that this may happen to someone else. It will. Something's going to happen. It's just a matter of time and I know that. Everyone knows that. We're helpless. This is going to go on and on and on until they get what they want. I don't know exactly what they want.

I do know who they want dead.

And I know I'm on that list.

"So what happened? They just attacked you out of nowhere?" Soda asks.

I come back in the room, laying down the first aid kit and slowly starting to clean the blood up with a wet towel. I'm not two minutes into the cleaning before I need to get another one because the first is coated in too much blood.

Peter sighs and hisses as I apply pressure. "With baseball bats. I dunno what happened. I woke up from tasting blood in my mouth and found myself in a pool of my own blood. Maybe they just left me there hoping Mother Nature would take its course or maybe they were just too stupid enough to check my pulse before they just left me."

Soda's drinking coffee, watching and taking in every word Peter says. He's wanted in on this ever since the letter came for Pony. He wants the same thing Dally wants. "What did they say?"

I glare.

_Not you too._

Peter rolls his eyes. "People don't tend to say much when they're bashing your brains out."

"When did you become such a smartass?" I ask, applying pressure harder than I need to.

"When your boyfriend fucked up my life. Who do I gotta kill around here for some medication?"

Soda jumps up, not accidentally bumping into Peter as he heads into the bathroom and searches through the medicine cabinet. I watch him as he leaves. He's not hiding his anger. He wants in on this. I don't want him to. I will do anything to stop that from happening. This isn't his fight.

I'm not sure whose it really is.

"What happened?"

Soda stands in the middle of the kitchen as all our heads turn and see the corpse that has walked into the room and into the sun for the first time in weeks. "Pony...you're out of your room."

He looks different in the light. His eyes. His eyes aren't the same. His eyes aren't the same color. They're dull. They're gray. They're empty. They're broken. "I heard someone talking about Dale. What happened to you?"

"Pony go back upstairs," Soda says sternly.

"No."

"Ponyboy-"

"No! I'm not a little kid you can boss around anymore, Soda. I want to know what happened."

I blink. Soda blinks. This makes him angry. He's already on fire. He leaves the room, letting the back door shut behind him. He wants to yell. He wants to snap some sense into him but he knows he can't. He knows it won't do anything. He has so much to say but he can't say it. He's exploding inside. He's hurting.

Aren't we all?

Peter snatches up the bottle of pills Soda left on the table and pops about five in his mouth. He angrily slams the bottle back down before saying, "What happened was Dallas fucking Winston ruined my life. That fucking little-"

He stops mid-sentence. The front door booms shut and there's a ghost in the room. A ghost that makes every room it walks into stop and stare.

"Go on, finish your sentence."

Peter rolls his eyes, turning to the side and away. "If you don't mind, Dally, I've already had the shit beat out of me enough for one day. So do you mind if we take a little rain check on this?"

I've lost track of the days. There's been too many. Here he is. The king has returned to his kingdom.

I stop cleaning Peter up and I stare.

He catches my eye. He winks. "Hey."

"Hi."

He motions for me to follow him around back. I wait and let him leave first before I get up. I ignore Peter's angry stares and probably rude comments.

It's warm out. My skin absorbs the sun as it hits me for the first time in a long time. I smell the fresh air. Dally's sent. The smell from his fresh cigarette. I want nothing more to run up behind him and wrap my arms around him. I want him to touch me. I want him to kiss me. I want to lay in bed forever with him beside me.

I know that's just something I can't have.

He's broken.

He's braking.

He's angry.

He's sad.

He's hungry.

He wants revenge.

He can taste it.

"He came to me," I tell him softly, sensing an annoyance from the fact that I was tending to an ex-boyfriend in front of him. A boy I did in fact replace him with. "What did you want me to do? Let him bleed to death?"

He tosses the bud of his cigarette into the grass and stomps it out with his heel. He rubs his chin and turns to face me. "You gotta stick on you?"

I hand him the pack from my back pocket and he lights one up. He offers me one which I decline.

"Where've you been?"

He shrugs.

I didn't expect an answer. I don't know why I asked. He knows I know and that I don't have to ask. He does this every time something like this happens. When it was my parents, he didn't come around until two weeks after the funeral. He doesn't want to be around so many feelings and emotions, especially when he's feeling them himself when he's supposed to be the one without such things.

He has to handle these things his own way.

I understand that.

"Have you been to the hospital?"

He nods. I know he has. I know he doesn't want to talk about it. I know he's only been once and he won't go back because he can't handle it. He can't deal. I know this because I know Dally...and it's what happened to me.

"Pony won't come out of his room." I kick the dirt under my feet. "He won't visit him. He won't speak most of the time, only on good days. It's tearing him up. None of us know what to do. He's become a zombie."

He exhales the smoke. Inhales the smoke. Exhales the smoke. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Neither do you."

There's a breeze. It blows my hair as I turn and look away from him. We look the same. I know we do. A person's eyes say everything about them. It's the only part of the body that can give you away.

I want to tell him that I missed him. I know he knows but I want to tell him. I want to tell him I'm scared and I'm sad and I'm angry. I want to tell him I'm worried about losing him. Losing my family. Losing everyone.

But I don't.

Because he feels the same way.

And just like me, he'll never say.

"You know you're next on their list."

I turn my head back to him. He's staring at me. "They only come out at night now. We haven't seen Dale since you shot him. I don't go out so they can't get me."

"They will."

I know this. I've thought this thought more than once. I've dreamed this thought more than once. He's a shadow killer in the night. There's no hiding from him. He's capable of more than we know. He can obviously out live a bullet to the chest.

And there's someone bigger.

Someone more powerful.

Someone only one of us has met and only one of us who truly knows him.

Maggot.

"You're on their list too," I point out to him. "Aren't you numero uno?"

He shrugs, smoking more and more and more. "It isn't safe here."

"What are you thinking?" I ask.

He speaks slowly and drawn out. He hasn't slept in a while. He's been thinking. Planning. "I gotta get you outta here."

"To where?"

He gets up off the table. He slides his feet as he walks over and stands in front of me. His body becomes less tense immediately. He gives a small corner smile. "Got a plan. I've already got you an apartment."

"Where?"

"South Carolina."

"You're joking, right?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?"

South Carolina was not the place I wanted to spend my summer. I know I have no room to argue. I can tell by the tone of his voice that this is a done deal and he's not going to argue about it with me. I've learned more than once to shut up and listen. I've also been told I'm too stubborn to do that.

"I'm not leaving you here to the wolves."

He sneers and I've missed that sound. I've missed his smirk. The way he looks to the side when he does it with his hands in his pockets. "That's exactly what you're going to do."

"Why? Dally, I..."

"I'll drag you there myself." He turns serious again. "Don't think I won't. Listen to me this time. Look what not listening to me got you."

I know.

I know.

"Why South Carolina?" I ask.

He shrugs because he doesn't really know. It's just a place to send me for a while so I won't interfere or get in trouble. Sometimes I think Dally is slowly turning into Darry. "Nothing happens there. It'll be the last place they look."

"What will you do?"

"Figure this out. Try to end it."

"How?"

There's the laugh again. "Stop worrying about things you can't control. Stop trying to take care of everyone."

"I don't want you to die," I tell him. "I won't let you."

He grabs me by the waist suddenly, smirking that mischievous smirk. He kisses me suddenly and holding me tight. He kisses down my cheek and stops at the edge of my mouth. Our lips meet again. Fast and slow. He holds me as our hips touch and the kissing has stopped and we are just holding each other.

This is Dallas Winston's reinsurance hug. A hug that says everything will be alright. He'll kiss you in a whoreish, passionate way to try to hide what he's really doing.

He doesn't fool me.

I just enjoy it.

I don't want to move.

I don't want it to end.

He pulls away, chuckling. "Damn I missed that." He licks his lips over once more. "I won't die. Promise. That make you happy?"

I smile. It's the first time since it happened I can say that it's not fake. It's true. "So you're staying here and I'm going there. What will I tell Darry? I can't just leave."

He hands me a handful of bills. I put them away quickly before anyone can see them. "You'll figure out something. I'll give you the address. That's enough money for rent and food for two months. Take the three o'clock train tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!?" I shout. He shushes me. "You're going to have to give me more time than that."

"We don't have any time."

I move away from him. I walk in circles trying to wrap my head around everything. This is insane. All of this is just insane! All of this is happening too fast. I can't think. My head is pounding. I've never been on my own before. What if they find me? What will I do? What if something happens when I'm gone? I can't leave. I need to be here.

I need to protect him. I need to protect my family. What will happen when I'm gone? I can't do this. I can't handle this.

His hand touches my hip, stopping my movement. "Do you trust me?"

I face him and sigh deeply. "I'm trying. I'm really trying."

"I'll be down in a few weeks to check on you once things have died down," he says. "I'll keep an eye out for them for you. Nothing will happen. Just go. Enjoy yourself."

"How the hell am I supposed to enjoy myself in South Carolina?"

He winks. "You'll think of something." He pulls me back in and gives me one last, deep, tongue twisting kiss. He speaks against my lips, "Later, sweets."

As I watch him walk away, I knew one thing: South Carolina was the last damn place I was going to be.

_Well now, little girl, I'm helping you. I hope you believe what I say is true. Whenever you run, I'll be running too. Whenever you run, I'll be following you. Run, run, run._

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you so much for reading. Please review.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Boston.

XOXO


	2. Where Time Stands Still

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Outsiders or the song "The Angels Sing in New York".

* * *

_See all the stars are fine tonight. And the old nightingale is flyin' tonight to my dreams. Hear all the birds are quiet tonight. And Titanic is callin' an echo of love to your dreams. And it hurts so much. But I have to go. Oh it hurts so much 'cause you have to know._

I take all my money out of the bank. Every last dime I had saved up. There wasn't much but it had to do for now. I'd figure something else out. Dally's money still sits inside my pocket but that money was intended for me to get to South Carolina and not where I'm really going. I'd need more to make this trip and I need to do it without Dally possibly finding out.

It's eleven. My train leaves at three. I take a deep breath and drag my suit case down stairs.

He looks up from the TV. "What's that for?"

I stop, setting my bags down. "I need to talk to you."

"That doesn't sound good."

"No. It's not bad," I assure him and he breathes. It's weird looking down at Darry. He's _Darry_. "I just, um, I got an offer."

He raises his eyebrows. "An offer?"

I nod, rethinking my plan I came up with last night. I guess offer wasn't really a good word to use. Force? Force would be better. "I know it's late notice and please don't be mad. I got offered to go to this writing program in South Carolina for free. It's free to everyone and I would like to go."

He takes a minute and I think my heart is going to explode. The pause is never good. I hold my breath until he speaks again. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

"I was distracted with everything going on. I'd really like to go, Darry. My train leaves at three."

"Three!? Today!? You expect me to just let you jump on a train and go to South Carolina?"

_No, not South Carolina. _"Yes."

As his face twists into more disheartening knots, my stomach aches. "No."

"Darry!"

"I said no, Danni. I-I just can't let you leave on the spur of the moment."

I should have figured this wouldn't go over well. I should have had Dally explain it to him. Or at least come up with a better excuse. Why am I the one doing all the dirty work anyway? This wasn't my idea. I don't really want to go... or do I?

"I need to get away from here, Darry. I need to get away from all of this." I motion with my hands. "Just for the summer. Please. It'll look so good for college too. College is good."

He presses his lips together and deeply sighs. "That bad?"

"That bad."

"What about Dally?"

I shrug. "He's really supportive of it. He's going to come up there when he gets a chance. He can't stand it here after..."

"Yeah." He nods, sighing again as he thinks more about it. There's another long pause. "I guess I understand. It's just that we don't have the money right now."

I hold up my overstuffed wallet. "I have my money. It's covered."

He eyes it, thinking but not saying anything. He shakes his head. "You've thought of everything, haven't you?"

"Can I go?"

He asks me to wait for a minute while he rolls into the bed room to talk to Kathy. I suppose there is hope there because if he didn't like the idea he would be screaming and sending me up to my room. Him talking to Kathy at least means he's considering it. This is good. This might actually happen.

This might actually be happening.

I sit on the couch and impatiently wait. I need to go. I need to get on that train and leave. Leave this town and the nightmares it creates and the people within it. I need to breathe. I need an escape. I need to escape.

Dally is the first person I'm supposed to call when I get there. I am to tell him I am in fact in South Carolina and that I am in the apartment and that I am ok. I'm supposed to tell him it's beautiful there and that I'm so excited about spending the summer there and maybe I even made a friend in the neighborhood.

I'm supposed to tell him I'm fine.

I'm tired of telling people I'm fine when really, I'm not at all.

I close my eyes and breathe for a second. All of this is happening so fast. I wish that none of this had happened. I wish I could stay in Tulsa this summer with my boyfriend and attend my brother's wedding and go to the lake with all my friends and everything would be perfect.

A gun shot one night ruined all of that.

I've been to the hospital every other day. Pony's been once and refuses to go back. I understand. There's not much to see.

"Ok, Dan. Let's talk."

I sit back up as Darry rolls back in with Kathy behind him.

They take a minute to sit down and stare at each other before Darry speaks up, "I really don't like this just being sprung on me. And though I think you're up to something-"

"You can go," Kathy takes over.

I smile and hold down my excitement. Fear and anxiety overwhelm me but I don't let them see that. "Thank you. I swear I'm not up to anything and I'll call you as soon as I get there and I'll tell you all about it. I promise!"

"One thing though," Darry ruins my excitement as I reach for my bags.

"Anything!"

"You have to take Ponyboy with you."

* * *

I knew there'd be a catch.

Pony protested to it as much as I did. Darry said it'd be good for him to get out of his room and since it was free he really wanted Pony to go and get the experience or something along those lines. I tried begging but that just mad Darry angry and turned into a fight and me possibly not being able to go.

So here I am, pouting, on a train, with my happy go lucky brother right beside me.

This wasn't the plan. Darry wants Pony to go because he's depressed and no one knows what to do. He thinks going on a big adventure with his twin sister will make everything better. What Darry doesn't know is that Pony doesn't want to get better. He doesn't want to be saved.

The plan was for me to be the one to go to New York and do this on my own. This was just a road block. A very large road block. What the hell am I supposed to do with Ponyboy all summer while I try to fix this?

His head is leaning on the train window, his eyes open and observe his surroundings. I brought a book, unlike him who forgot his book bag on his bed at home.

"It smells."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't want to be here."

"I don't want you here."

I should be nicer to him. After all he's the one that's really messed up and the one that really wants to be at home. Maybe it will be good for Pony to get out some. Maybe this will even help a little.

I sigh, shutting my book. "I didn't mean that. I...It'll be fun...spending the summer together." I give him a half smile which he tries to return before letting his head fall back again.

Pony hasn't come out of the house in weeks. He's scared. This is the first time. He's gotten pale and he looks sicker than he really is. He's lost weight and muscle and he looks tired all the time though all he ever does is sleep.

No one really asks what's going on. We all know or think we know. We just never like to admit it.

"That conductor just said this train is going to New York."

My head pops up. I try to ignore him, focusing my attention on the words in front of me. "Oh?"

"We're on the wrong train and all you can say is oh!?" He jumps up out of his seat, looking around for someone to help.

This isn't good. "Pony-"

"We need off," he says panicky. His eyes search throughout the train "Who do we tell to get off?"

"Pony-"

He flags down a passing worker. "Sir, excuse me, um we're on the wrong-"

"Excuse him," I say, pushing and throwing Ponyboy back down into his seat. I smile at the man. "He hasn't taken his pills this morning. Have a nice day, sir."

The man nods and leaves before Pony can say anything again. "Why did you just do that?"

"Because we're not on the wrong train," I tell him, trying to refocus on my book in hopes that he'll drop the issue. I knew I had to tell him eventually. I just hadn't thought of what exactly to say.

His eyes are still on me. I can feel how tense his body is. "You said this program was in South Carolina. This train is going to New York, Danni."

"I know where it's going," I say calmly. "There is no program, ok? I lied. We're going to New York."

"We're _what_?"

I have no idea what to say. I look up at him and quickly search my brain for the easiest thing to tell him. "Going to New York. Listen, I'll explain it all later but for now-"

"No! Not later, now! I'm on a train to New York, why?"

"Pony..."

"I'm tired of people treating me like I'm crazy," he hisses sternly. This is a new emotion for him. This isn't tired or sad. This is pure anger and hurt. "Like they can't talk to me. I'm not crazy and I can take it!"

I sigh. I had to tell him at some point anyway. "Dally told me to get out of town for a while. He thinks Dale is after me and he wanted me somewhere safe. I don't want Dally to get killed. I want to help him and the only way is to go to New York. To the root of the problem."

"What are you going to do?"

"I haven't figured that part out yet."

* * *

The lights. They're everywhere. So bright and illuminating. It draws you in. The buildings are like stairways up to heaven. God himself lives and breathes in this city. This isn't America. It's nothing I've ever seen before. People describe the city all the time but there's no describing this world. The world we have set foot in. The world that will change us forever.

The train lets us off at the station where we catch a cab that takes us to the neighborhood with the cheapest rent. I've never been inside a cab before and neither has Ponyboy. Hell, we have never left the state before or been in the city.

Pony has been silent since we got off the train. He's absorbing and taking in everything. He's read about this place in books before, but, like me, he's overwhelmed with the fact that it's really real.

But like all beautiful things, there's always a dark spot.

The spot where we'll be living.

It was the only apartment building that would rent to us and at the price we could afford.

The renter takes us up to the room. No, it's not on the top floor with a breath taking view of the city. No, it's not a beautiful suite like you see in all the movies. No, it's the place you see in pictures of a murder investigation.

The walls are green. I'm not sure if it's paint or the mold. The fridge is fairly new. The kitchen is yellow but it's fully stocked. The bathroom needs some work. The water is brown and there's a leak in the roof.

Welcome home, Danni Curtis.

The renter tells us to enjoy our stay and leaves.

"It's not that bad," I say, walking around the filth we'll be living in all summer. "We can fix it up real nice. Get some paint and some cleaning supplies. It'll look real nice once we're done."

"Danni..."

I walk throughout the living room, picking up some trash that was left by the previous owners. "We'll go to the store and pick up some food and a broom."

"Danni..."

"Look outside this window," I say opening the curtains. "It's...nice!"

"Danni I think we should tell Darry where we are and go home."

I knew he'd say something like that. I'd been expecting it for some time. "We're in New York, Pony. You've always wanted to go to New York. We're finally here. We can't go home now and we _can't_ tell Darry where we are. We can't tell anyone."

"Why?"

"Because then Dally will know and then Dally will kill me, that's why."

He's too tired to even fight about this issue. This, in a way, worries me because he's Ponyboy and this isn't him, but for now, it's saving me an argument. He won't even argue about it anymore. I know that's partially due to the fact that he's in the place he's dreamed about going since he was a kid. Plus he's not the one who's going to get in trouble if we get caught.

He shrugs, going down the hall.

The phone works. That's another plus. Pony resides to the bed room while I call Dally and tell him I made it ok. I ask what he's up to and he doesn't elaborate. The conversation is short and there's a lot of noise in the background and I wonder where he could be. I try not to worry about it and call Darry next to say the same thing.

It's seven and dinner time. I open up the fridge and it's empty except for a box that says pizza but I'm too scared to open it.

The TV is also broken.

I sigh, getting bored and needing something to calm my nerves.

I pick up the phone again.

_Hello?_

_How are you?_

_My face hurts. Where are you?_

_South Carolina. I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I'm sorry I kind of took off. I guess my brothers told you where I was at though._

_I'm scared. I'm so scared, Danni._

_What's going on?_

_Dale is still out there. He meant to kill me, Dan. What do you think he's going to do now that he knows that I'm still alive!? He's going to finish the job and he's going to do it soon. I can't hold my parents off anymore. They want to go to the police and let them handle this._

_Go find Dally. Tell him I sent you to him. Explain to him what's going on. He'll help you. OK?_

_I don't think that's-_

_It's the only way you're going to make it out of this alive._

_...Ok. I've been hearing some things about him._

_Dally?_

_Yes. He knows you're away? Are you two together again?_

_What have you heard?_

_He's been talking to Shepard and Buck a lot. A few people out of town too. People he met in jail. Look, I don't know what's going on but I know Dale. He's angry and he's not going to go away. If he hears about Dally planning some kind of big rumble against him, then he'll kill him before he has the chance to set a date. Dale ain't the Socs. I'm just saying he needs to watch his back. I could get in a lot of trouble by saying this, but Dale has made it his mission to kill Dallas Winston, even if it leads to his death. Your boy is playing on no sleep and revenge. It ain't a good combo if you know what I'm saying._

_I know what you're saying….Hey, do me a favor and just get out of town, alright?_

_Alright._

_I'm sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry about all of this._

* * *

This city is so full of life. So free. Everyone is free here. It's like they're birds that have been let out of their cage and now they can fly. Now they can live. They're different here. Everyone is different here.

"God. Better take a gun. And we thought going out at night in Tulsa was dangerous."

Pony and I decide to go out and explore the place we'll be spending our summer. It's not like the place we drove through when we first arrived but it still holds its own little light. We're defiantly not in Tulsa anymore and these aren't simple country folks. There's something different about them. About their eyes. They're lighter. Filled with a brightness of colors.

I don't know what part of New York Dally is from. It's not something we've sat down and talked about. I have been making notes of the things I do know though. For starters he grew up in a poor neighborhood. Check.

Second, I know he moved around from apartment building to apartment building. The next move always led to the shittier one. Check.

Third, I know right before he came to Tulsa he worked part time at a flower shop just down the block from where he lived.

There doesn't look like there are any flower shops in this area. There aren't any flowers anywhere. No trees, no parks.

They do have good Coke here, and everyone minds their own business. I can walk down the street and not be judged or teased for what I'm wearing or how much money I have. These people are greasers and they're proud of it.

The phone call from Peter makes me realize that I need to act fast. I don't have much time and I need a plan.

"Look at that lady's paper." Pony points in front of us at a large black lady sitting on the bench with a newspaper in her hands.

I sip on my soda and squint my eyes. I don't see anything. "What about it?"

"Read the headline of that article. Read the name in the article."

I squint harder, trying to see what he sees. And then it hits me. A familiar name catches my eye. "Rose Winston."

_I'm half a million miles from home and the fire in mountains ain't comin' tonight. To my dreams. Don't let the stars get in your eyes. And a lonely dreamer is cryin' tonight. In your dreams. And it hurts so much. But I have to go. Oh it hurts so much 'cause you have to know._

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay. I just got a new job so I'm very busy right now.

Thanks for reading and please review!


	3. No One Leaves

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Outsiders or the song "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked".

* * *

_I was walking down the street when out the corner of my eye I saw a pretty little thing approaching me. She said "I've never seen a man who looks so all alone. Could you use a little company? If you pay the right price your evening will be nice and you can go and send me on my way. I said "You're such a sweet young thing Why you do this to yourself?" She looked at me and this is what she said:_

"Yeah Darry, we're fine."

"Everything alright with school? You got checked in ok and your classes are in check?"

"Uh-huh. Everything's good."

Ok, it's not that I _like_ lying to Darry. Maybe I'm just used to it. I've gotten better. It's gotten easier. And that makes me feel the guiltiest about this whole thing. I'm flat out lying to my brothers and my friends about everything I do lately.

I swallow and remind myself that it's for the best in the long run and I'll make it up to them sometime.

"What kind of classes will you guys be taking?"

I make up some random things to spit back at him. He goes on about work and the wedding planning. He's getting more excited about it though I can hear the nervousness in his voice. Kathy has picked the color pink for the bridesmaid's dresses and she wants me to come back to help pick out the style.

"I don't know when I'll be able to come back, Dar," I say gently.

There's a pause before he responds. "Why? How long are you there for? They won't let you have family visits?"

I bite my lip. The guilty feeling is back and I start to remember that I'm missing out on planning my big brother's wedding and that makes it worse. "No...it's just...It costs a lot of money to travel, you know?"

"Oh. Yeah," he says understandingly yet still disappointed. "Well, be safe out there, ok? I'll keep you posted on how things are here."

"How _are_ things?"

"Well there was a thunderstorm and a tree fell on the Dairy Queen."

He sneers but I say nothing, pressing the phone closer to my ear and pacing around the tight kitchen.

"That's not the answer your quite looking for, is it?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Listen," there's a deep sigh, "I don't want you to worry while you're down there. You need to be focusing on school."

"Darry..." I press.

"He's not doing so well."

I switch the phone to my other ear, not prepared for him to be so blunt. "What happened?"

"We didn't hear from him since you left," he says. "Then he came by here last night. He wouldn't say what happened but he was pretty badly beaten up and his nose was broken. Kathy did the best she could patching him up and he was gone by morning before any of us woke up."

I wish I had been there. I wish I could have done something to prevent that. He's on a suicide mission. I know that it's only a matter of time before...

"Danni?"

"Yeah?"

"Try not to worry so much," he says as comforting as he can be. "He's Dally, you know? He's been doing this stuff since he could walk. Let him be him and you be you."

It's really not that easy. I could easily argue with Darry but I feel guilty enough as it is. I settle for sighing. "Thanks...for taking care of him."

"He's still family. Just promise me you'll keep focused on school and not what's going on down here."

"I promise, Dar. Tell everyone I said hey."

"Yeah. And Danni, keep an eye on Ponyboy for me."

* * *

I call Dally's five times. I call Bucks, I call the Shepard's, hell I even call Sylvia. No one has seen him or heard from him. In days even. No one knows what happened last night but they all knew about it before I could even bring it up. That's the thing about Tulsa, everyone knows your business, and they don't mind to spread it.

Pony's gone to get ice. I reread the newspaper over and over again, looking for any clues.

_Rose Winston court hearing rescheduled for late September. Charges still pending._

That's all it says. No clues, no ideas, nothing.

It may not even be the same Rose Winston. I mean, it's a pretty big city. Though I've never met someone that shared Dally's last name. It isn't popular, but we are in the city he grew up in.

So where is she...and what's her story?

"I got the ice." The door clicks behind him and water drips on the wooden floor. "Still no word from Dal?"

"Nope."

He comes around to the side of the sofa. A loud thud jolts me up as he slams down two big books down on the coffee table. I look up at him for an explanation but all I find is a sly smile.

"What is all this?"

"I'm going to help you."

I raise an eyebrow. "Help me what?"

The couch shifts and sinks as he sits next to me. "Look, I'm not completely broken like everyone thinks. I know out of everyone you'd be the one to treat me like I was normal again so just humor me."

He picks up one of the books and flips through the pages.

"History books?" I ask.

He nods. "Family history. You want to help Dally by finding his family, sure. Here's the way to do it. He's going to be extremely hacked if he finds out but it's your head on the line. "

I'm still not sure why he's helping me. Or why he hasn't ratted me out yet to Soda or Darry. Or even why he himself didn't force me to go back. Why would he want to be here on this mission that's going nowhere?

I decide not to ask and pick up the other book. "So this is like public record or something?"

"Yeah. It's the library's genealogy books. It should have some names and addresses in it."

If Dally is even in this book. Dally is like a shadow in any town. He comes and goes, and disappears into thin air without ever leaving a trace. Something told me this would be a dead end.

"Dan? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You do know Maggot lives in New York, right?"

I don't answer. I don't have to. He already knows the answer by the silence that follows.

After about ten minutes with no results, the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

The sound of his voice has always been soothing to hear. I sigh and take it in. A smile appears on my face. "Hey yourself."

The way there's no sly remark afterwards tells me how the mood is going to be for the rest of this conversation. "You called?"

I try not to get offended or angry or show that it he has hurt my feelings. "Yeah. I was just kinda worried about you. Darry told me you got hurt."

"And?"

"And?"

"What do you want me to say, Curtis? I'm a little busy. I ain't got time to play with you on the phone."

Pony glances up at me. I press the phone closer to my ear and shut my eyes. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Is that too much to ask?"

There's a pause. The silence in the background is eerie. "I'm great. Fucking great."

"Dally-"

"What are you doing?"

The way he says it is less snappy. I know that in a weird way, it's his way of apologizing to me. "I think Pony and I might go get some dinner later. Try to make friends, fit in, that kind of thing."

Another pause. I can feel that he wants to stay on the phone but he doesn't want to talk. And that's fine. So we stay like this for a while, just listening to each other breathing. It's nice in the way that it feels like we're in the same room, lying on each other, and just enjoying each other's presence.

I think about how long it's been since Dally and I got to do that.

"I need to go," he says after a while.

I nod. "Alright. Just tell me you're really ok, ok?"

"Ok."

I know it's a lie, but I take it. "Be careful."

"Always am." He adds a small smirk but it doesn't sound real. "See ya, Curtis."

I sigh once the dial tone comes up.

"Dan?" Pony calls. "Everything alright?"

Slowly, I hang the phone up. Suddenly, I start to feel everything slip between my fingers and my chest is heavy. What am I doing here?

I need to get some air.

* * *

I'm not used to people passing me on the street and not saying anything. Back home, everyone knew my name. Sure the Socs would walk right by me, but most of the people would smile or wave or even stop to talk to me. Everyone here just walks on by. You mean nothing to them and they mean nothing to you.

I slip my hands in my pockets and stare at the ground until I find a free bench to sit on.

I put my face in my hands and I fight back the urge to scream.

"You were here yesterday. With some boy." It's not a question nor is it meant as one.

Gazing up, I come to face a stout black woman standing firmly in front of me, her lips pressed forward and eyes narrowed. I'm taken aback by her stance and tone. Is this middle school again and I'm in her seat or something?

"Well?"

I blink a few times, realizing she wants me to speak. "Um, yeah, I was."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"No. Brother."

"You talk weird. You're not from here."

I could tell her she talks just as weird as I do but I don't. I think I know better than to challenge her. It's not that I've never seen a black person before. I have, but I've never met someone so strong willed and intimidating before.

No, scratch that, I have.

Angela Shepard.

She clears her throat. "I'm Patricia, but you can call me Patty."

"Danielle, but you can call me Danni."

She smiles. It's soft and doesn't reflect the person she came off as a few minutes ago. "I'm a maid at the hotel across the street. I saw you and your brother staring at me and my paper yesterday."

"Yeah, um, sorry if we bothered you," I quickly defend myself. "My brother, he just saw a name he recognized and we got a little carried away."

She waves it off. "It's fine, hon. I'm used to people pointing at me. Just usually has laughter following."

I swallow. There's no proper way to respond. She has the worst going for her. She's black as coal and she's about three times my size.

"Who was it?"

"What?" I ask, glad she said something before anything became too weird.

She rolls her eyes and huffs like it's the stupidest thing I could have said. "The name."

She's still aggressively standing over me. Her body creates a shadow over me and I still feel scared by her presence and I'm not sure why she's talking to me like we know each other. "Oh...My boyfriend...His mother's name."

She arches an eyebrow. "You met her before?"

"Not yet." I shake my head. "I'm still trying to find her address."

"Who is it? I've worked with pretty much everyone on this side of the neighborhood."

I highly doubt she's going to know Dally's family. I wonder what she thinks to know that I have absolutely no idea about my boyfriend's family. I only have a name, a small name. She's not going to know.

"Rose Winston."

A mischievous smirk appears on her face.

"What? You know her?"

"She's my coworker."

* * *

I get back to the apartment around dinnertime. I'm feeling so well that I even bought a pizza for dinner with my own money instead of Dally's.

"Where'd you go?"

The door shuts behind me. Pony's in the same place I've left him. "For a walk. Any luck?"

He shakes his head, laying the book down and rubbing his temples where he feels a headache coming on. "None. Dally is even harder to find here."

"Well," I say, sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. I grin slyly. "I've got an address."

His eyes grow wide. I can hardly believe it myself. "How did you manage that?"

"I have my ways."

"Of course you do."

He doesn't say anything else. His head hangs and his mannerisms immediately tell me that something is wrong. It's as if he's back to his old self. Who he was before we came here. The boy who blamed himself.

The books are all closed on the table and he doesn't move as I sit back down beside him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Two-Bit called while you were out."

I swallow hard. I knew what that meant. I knew what he had said and why he called. He's the messenger that's constantly getting shot. He's the one who stays at the hospital most nights. He rarely leaves. He feels half reliable I think because he was with him the night it happened. Not that there was anything that could have been done.

"You can say it."

My eyes dart over to him. "Say what?"

"'It's ok Pony, don't worry. Everything will be fine,'" he says in a mocking tone.

That's what everyone keeps saying. I know how bad it is to hear people say that so I don't. "I'm not Darry or Soda or Sarah or Two-Bit. I'm Danni, and I don't think you want to hear that."

"I don't."

Silence falls on us. I fumble with my fingers and pick at my nails. It's so hard finding the right words to say.

After a few minutes, he speaks again. "You remember when Angela died?"

"Yeah."

He nods. "It really bites."

"Yeah, it does." I sigh. "He's not-"

"Dead yet?" His head turns me. A few months ago I'd expect tears in his eyes, but times are different now, and he doesn't have any left to shed. "Yeah well, it's only a matter of time."

"Pony..."

"How did you feel...Knowing that you could have done something to save her? How did you get over blaming yourself?"

I'm thrown off by the question and the bluntness of it. I feel offended though I know he didn't mean to make me feel that way. I struggled with it for some time, and he knows that. He was there through the nightmares and the panic attacks and crying fits. He saw it all.

I shrug, unsure of how to answer. "I don't know. Darry got me consoling. You should-"

"No," he snaps. "My best friend is in the hospital dying...again. And I'm the one who put him there."

"Pony-"

It's too late. He's already stormed out.

There's nothing we can do about it. Dale was after Johnny's life that night...and Dale always gets what Dale wants.

With that, I grab the keys to the door, and I set out on the only thing I have that I think can end all this.

* * *

A couple of mutts barking and the sound of screen doors slamming and cars honking is all that can be heard. I can hear my booted footsteps on the dirt as I get closer and closer to the small yellow house. If you could call it a house. The sidings are ripped and windows smashed in with pieces of wooden boards covering them up.

The neighborhood reminds me a lot of home. All the sounds and the smell of fresh beer and cigarette smoke.

My hands shake as I fumble with the latch on the chain-link fence.

As I walk up to the door I only have two things on my mind: coffee, and mental illness.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Danni Curtis...and I'm dating your son."

_Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked. Money don't grow on trees. I got bills to pay. I got mouths to feed. There ain't nothing in this world for free. I know I can't slow down. I can't hold back. Though you know, I wish I could. Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked. Until we close our eyes for good._

* * *

**A/N:** I don't know what I'm doing right now. I've lost inspiration on this. I've realized how far off from the Outsiders it's gotten and I want to maybe take a step back.

That being said, I would like you guys to give me your opinion. I want to do like a rewind story. Rewinding to just before LTWYL. I want to know if you guys would be interested in that or one without Danni or just stick with this, or do something with just the brothers for a little while. I want to do some fluffy stuff. I will keep this story up and probably will get back to it at some point. Just leave me a review with your opinion or PM me or whatever. Just let me know. Thank you all for sticking with me and I apologize for the delay!


	4. And No One Will

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Outsiders or the song "Home".

**A/N: **I'm disappointed with the way my other stories are going review wise, so I think I'm going to update this.

* * *

_Alabama Arkansas I do love my Ma and Pa. Not the way that I do love you. Well holy moly me oh my. You're the apple of my eye. Girl I've never loved one like you. Man o man you're my best friend. I scream it to the nothingness. There ain't nothing that I need. Hot and heavy pumpkin pie. Chocolate candy Jesus Christ. Ain't nothing please me more than you_

The house has a strong sent of smoke and coffee. The front door closes with a bang and Rose takes my jacket for me and throws it over one of the arm chairs by the door. The air feels damp and heavy as if someone's been taking the same shower for months on end. The floor is carpeted and it smells like a funeral home.

Rose points to the sofa, making me sit. The couch sinks but it's warm and not as sticky as I expected.

My heart is beating fast. Adrenaline is running through my veins as if I'm on this big death defying mission. I'm so scared and excited at the same time. The back of my knees start to sweat and I can't sit still.

"Well damn. Ain't this a wonderful surprise?" She offers me a cigarette. "You smoke?"

I nod, taking one and popping it in my mouth before letting her light it.

My eyes look around the contents of the living room. There's a small brick fire place by the television with small pictures on top. Baby pictures. I stand up immediately and walk over to them and take the first one I see of a little boy with big blue eyes staring up at the camera.

"That's him," Rose's raspy voice says. "Darlin', you do know that we haven't heard from Dallas in four years."

I admire the picture. It's the first baby photo I've ever seen of Dallas and I can't take my eyes off it. He looks like himself only there's a sparkle in his eyes that Dally only gets now when he's really happy. It's a sparkle I haven't seen in a long time. This photo was taken before that sparkle was beaten out of him.

"He was a bright kid," she slowly says, dragging out each word. "He hated me from the minute he saw me though. Dally was smart about a lot of things. He understood people. He understood a lot. I remember he loved to draw...maps, that was it. He mapped out this whole city. Granted it wasn't exactly right, but he spent months drawing that stupid thing."

I sit the picture down and drag my feet over to the sofa.

"How is he?" Rose asks, clearing her throat as if she's almost afraid to ask "Still alive?"

I nod, taking a drag of my cigarette. "Yeah. He's doing alright. He's straightened out a lot."

Her lips barely touch the rim of her coffee cup. Steam rises up to her face as she takes a small sip of coffee. "Guess that's because of you, huh?"

She picks up her cigarette next, taking a long drag.

I can't stop staring at her. She has deep lines in her face but she can't be older than forty. She's so slim that her clothes are falling off of her and her shoulder bones are sticking out. She reminds me of a deer the way she crosses her knees and how big her eyes are compared to the rest of her body.

She stares at me the same way I stare at her, blowing smoke my way. "Do you know my boy?"

I nod. "Ronnie? I met him this fall."

Her long bony finger points to one of the pictures on the mantle. It shakes as she holds it in place. "That's him. He's in some fancy school in Long Island. Won't come around here much except every other Sunday. He ain't like the rest of us. He got the brains somehow. He's going to go to college and make something of himself."

I'd thought about Ronnie a lot lately. Rose's voice shows so much pride in her prodigal son, but she doesn't know what happened in Tulsa. She never will know what her little boy did with Dally.

"Does Dally talk about me?" she asks. "I mean, I am his wicked step mother. I'd imagine he'd have a lot to say."

"No," I tell her lightly. "Dally doesn't talk much about his family. Ronnie mentioned you before."

Her face drops and I sense that I've upset her but I have nothing to say that will make her feel better. "Um, it's really good to finally meet you though."

She nods, licking her lips over. "Yeah. You can imagine my surprise when I opened that door. Ain't everyday a pretty girl comes around here, especially one telling us that she's dating Dallas."

I can't imagine many people coming here at all.

I start to wonder where Dally's father is. Dally talks so strongly about his father and how much hatred he has for him. I've always wondered what was true and what wasn't. From the things I've heard, I'm frightened.

I twist uncomfortably in my seat, debating on asking the question I came here for. "What can you tell me about Maggot?"

Her eyes shoot daggers at me. She takes a long sip of her coffee and another whiff of her cigarette. Time passes and the longer we stare at each other like this, the more I regret asking.

Is she angry with me? I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have come to New York at all. This was all so stupid.

I start to get up to leave when Rose leans over. "You seem like a sweet kid, Danni. Take my advice, don't get into this shit. Take the money and run. Don't look back. Don't get caught up in Dallas Winston's shit. Get out why you can."

I raise my eyebrow. "I don't mean any disrespect, ma'am, but I'm madly in love with your son, and I ain't goin' nowhere any time soon."

The corners of her lips curl, and she leans back on the couch. "No one talks about Maggot in these parts. Not since his daddy died and Maggot took on his empire."

"Empire?"

"Running the biggest gang in New York."

I cross my legs. "What does Dally have to do with this?"

"We moved up here when Dally was a kid. Him and Maggot took like glue. They did everything together. Dally practically lived over there and Maggot's daddy took care of Dally. My husband worked for Maggot's daddy. It was the only job he could get with his record and it put food on the table. He took care of us."

I process this. "Is Maggot...he's dangerous, isn't he?"

She takes a puff of smoke and lets it roll off her lips. "You really don't have a clue, do you?"

No, she's right about that. I don't.

"I came to you because I'm worried...about Dally. Dally did something really bad this past fall. Really bad. He lied to Maggot. He went against him and now Maggot's after his head. Dally...I don't want anything to happen to him. I guess that's why I'm here. I don't know what else to do, but I can't lose him. I want to help...but I don't know how. Dally pushes me away and I see him on this suicide path and I can't stand it anymore!"

I'm out of breath by the time I finish. It feels like it all came out in one mashed up sentence and I'm sure Rose doesn't understand. How can you? I don't even fully understand it.

She crosses her long bony legs, and grins. "So you want my help."

I nod, chocking on my own breaths. "Please. Please help me help Dally."

"You need my husband. You need my husband and God's good grace to help you with this fucked up shit."

She stretches her back out like a cat getting up after a long nap as she gets up from the sofa. She pops her back in place as she drags her feet into one of the back rooms.

My eyes follow her until she's completely out of my sight.

"Do you know what happened to Dally's mother?" she asks, coming back into the room with a small box in her hands. She sits back down on the couch, practically getting lost in it.

It's a question I've always wanted answered.

I shake my head. "I know Maggot had something to do with it."

She runs her hands over the wooden box. There are small pink flowers painted on the top of the dark wood. "No. Maggot was a child when she died, just like Dally. It happened before Maggot's time. Maggot always knew what happened. It wasn't until later Dally got the full story. That's why he left."

"What happened to her?"

"She died in cold blood, honey." She pushes the box towards me. "And if you don't take this and run, you will too."

I slip my hand under the lid of the box. I don't look inside. I know what's in there. I can feel the cold silver against my skin. I close my eyes. I've never shot a gun before. I've never even held one.

Dally had told me about living with Maggot's family because he hated his so much. What I didn't know was that Dally's Dad was so involved with Maggot's dad.

Then I start to remember some things I've learned over the past year.

_Jeff snorted. "Sure you're not. That stuff you boosted about in the slammer never happened, huh? Sounded like you had some time back in New York."_

_"Why don't you tell her what really happened to your mom?"_

_"I don't know. I do know what Maggot says, goes. I know he's the reason Dally got arrested at ten and sent down here. And I know he has a lot to do with to do the murder of Dally's mother."_

Did Dally's father have something to do with his mother's death?

The front door closes and my eyes follow the sound.

"Rose! What's for dinner?"

I grab my jacket and clinch onto it tightly. My heart starts to beat and I panic. "I-I-...I have to go."

A man comes around the corner, his bright, powerful, icy blue eyes looking back at me. My mouth is open, my palms are sweating, and I'm speechless. Is this what it's like to come face to face with a ghost?

"This is Danni. She's with Dally, honey. Your boy."

He arches an eyebrow and it makes me squirm. I'm frozen in my stance like a deer caught in headlights. I can't move, I can't think, I can't even shut my mouth. It's like going forward in time thirty years. I knew that coming here may mean running into him, but I was still not ready for this. Dally warned me about his father, and if I knew anything about Dally's warnings, it's to listen to them.

I swallow as he takes a step towards me. "I-It was nice to meet you. I-I-I've got to go."

I can hear Rose calling for me as I bust out the door.

Once I run down the block, I finally stop to catch my breath. My hand runs down the brick wall I'm leaning on and I press my back against it. I shut my eyes and question myself again for coming here.

Maybe it was time for this little girl to go back home.

* * *

Ponyboy is sitting on the couch when I get home. Another empty pizza box is on the coffee table and this place smells like rotten cheese. Pizza is the only thing we can afford to eat, and Ponyboy's the only one enjoying that.

"How did that go?" he asks, turning around and looking at me.

I rub my head and breathe easy knowing that I'm home and that I'm safe. "Lovely. Dally's family is great and they made me cookies and we looked at baby pictures and cooed over how cute Dally was. How do you think it went?"

He rolls his eyes, turning back around and watching TV.

I press my head against the coldness of the wall. "I think we should go home."

"Why?"

"Because we're not accomplishing anything here. We're out of money. We're living in filth. I'm just tired of trying."

My eyes close and I try not to cry. I really thought coming here would help. I thought I'd be the big hero once and save Dally instead of it being the other way around. That's all I wanted to do - save Dally. There's something I didn't consider though and that's that Dally can't be saved from himself. He's going to die soon, and I know that.

A small tear runs down my cheek. "I'm so tired."

Footsteps come towards me and warm arms are put around my shoulders. "Don't say that."

I hug him. "I can't help it. I'm so tired, Ponyboy. This isn't going to stop. Johnny's in the hospital because of this. He's dying and soon Dally's going to kill himself too. I'm so tired of everyone dying and not being able to do anything about it."

He tightens his grip on me. "Today it's been one year."

I sniffle. "What?"

"Angela...It's been a year."

I had forgotten all about that. How could I ever forget something like that happening?

I bury my face in his shoulder and cry. I sob and sob and sob until I don't have any more tears left at all. Ponyboy doesn't say a word. He holds me through all of it and lets me ruin his shirt with tears. Who would have thought this was going to happen? Wasn't Ponyboy supposed to be the emotional unstable one in the family right now?

Eventually, when the tears have all dried up, I part from him. "Thank you."

He wipes one of the tears away. "I'm sorry...I just really got to tell you something. Something bad and you're going to be really hacked off. I would have said it earlier...but I didn't want to ruin the moment."

I throw my hands up in defeat. "Give it to me. Nothing else could possibly make this day any worse."

"Dally knows we're here."

That, I did not expect.

My heart skips a beat. Sweat builds up on the back of my neck. "What do you mean Dally _knows_?"

He can't look at me. Ponyboy turns his back and shrugs, trying to figure out the best way to put this. "I talked to Sarah...I guess she let it slip to him or something that we are in New York."

"You told Sarah we are in New York!?" I gape.

He runs his hand down his face. "She's my girlfriend! She was worried!"

"So!?" I snap, charging towards him. "Tell her to get over it! Have you met my boyfriend? Six feet two inches weights about two-hundred pounds and resembles a small truck. Do you know what he's going to do to us?"

He turns his head away from me, mumbling, "What he's going to do to you."

My eyes glare at him. "What?"

"Sorry. It's just...he ain't really going to be mad at me like he is at you. I mean you're the one who lied to him."

He's not helping his case any from saying this. I have to back away from him before I do something I regret. This was the number one rule - never let anyone know we're here. If someone knows, then Dally will know. Dally does know, and Dally is pissed. Dally is on edge already and now he knows we're in New York.

I was so dead.

"I'm this close from punching you in the face," I say to Ponyboy.

"Dally's on his way here."

With my hands over my head, I lean against the wall near the door. This just topped everything off. What was Dally going to do when he got here? I had some ideas but none I actually wanted to think about. I could be mad at Ponyboy for making all this happen, but I'm madder at myself for wasting the trip.

But maybe it wasn't all bad. If Dally was here, then he's not in Tulsa.

He's not in Tulsa with Dale.

"Open this fucking door!" It sounds like gun shots as big fists bang against the wooden door, making everything in the room shake with fear. "I know you're in there, damnit. I can hear you breathing!"

I glare up at Ponyboy. "I'm going to kill you."

He sneers, backing away from the action. "It looks like Dally's going to kill you before you have a chance."

"Curtis!"

Great. Dallas Winston's home everyone.

_Home, let me come home. Home is wherever I'm with you. Home, let me come home. Home is wherever I'm with you. La la la la. Take me home. Mama I'm coming home. I follow you into the park. Through the jungle, through the dark. Girl I've never loved one like you_

* * *

**A/N: **I hope you guys haven't forgotten about this! I am sorry about the wait, and that this chapter isn't that exciting, but if this chapter shows me that a lot of people are still reading, I'll probably start it back up again with more exciting things in store. So please review if you're still out there and want me to start this back up again. Please don't make me regret updating this - review. :)


	5. Moon is Full

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Outsiders or the song "They Don't Care About Us"

**A/N: **Thank you all for the reviews and showing me there are still people out there reading! I will continue this as long as I feel like there are still people reading :)

* * *

_Beat me, hate me. You can never break me. Will me, thrill me. You can never kill me. Jew me, sue me. Everybody do me. Kick me, kike me. Don't you black or white me. All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us. All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us._

Tears press in my eyes as fists continue to bang against the door. I shudder a sigh, forcing myself to stay collected. Now was no time to cry. Dally doesn't respond to tears and they only make me look weak. I'm shaking and I haven't been this scared, never felt so powerless, in a long time, but despite that fear, I won't let Dally see me cry.

"Open this goddamn door!"

I just have to assemble myself. I have to put myself together. I have to prepare myself for this battle.

"Curtis!"

Who am I kidding? I could never be prepared for this.

Ponyboy, who's hiding in the kitchen, pokes his head around and points to the door. "You should probably get that."

I scowl at him, letting out a deep sigh.

I close my eyes, taking one last breath before I let the animal out of his cage. Why did I have to come to this city?

With my hand on the door knob, I slowly twist, cracking the door and seeing and hearing his venomous tone and resentment lined face. I don't have time to look for very long or process my next move because Dally acts fast, barreling in past the door and bashing me to the side.

The doorknob hits the wall with a loud crack. Our neighbors must think there's shooting going on up here.

Dally marches through the living room, his eyes treacherously red. "I'm going to fucking kill you! Who the fuck do you think you are? Huh? Answer me!"

It takes me a second to realize he's talking to me. Of course he is, but he won't stop moving and he sure won't look at me. He's pacing around the room in a large circle, keeping his eyes firm on the ground. I can tell that he's holding back and trying to control his anger the best he can. He's afraid of what he may do if he lets it get out of hand.

I think of something to say. Anything. Just something that won't make him even more mad.

This is what I come up with: "I-I don't know."

The floor trembles under me as he comes charging. I try backing away before my back hits the wall and I have nowhere else to go. Dally's in front of me, his eyes wide and manic and on me.

His breath is hot as it hits my face. "Why?"

I swallow, trying not to seem frightened. "I-I wanted to help you."

"Did I ask you to?"

"No, but-"

"No fucking buts!" he thrusts his face close to mine, barking loudly. "You went behind my back. You lied to my face. Give me one good reason not to end you right here and now."

I grimace at his voice. Dally hasn't scared me this seriously in a long time. I'm not scared for what he may do to me because I know Dally wouldn't ever lay a hand on me. I got caught, and now, Dally was going to make me pay. I'm scared because I can see through Dally's eyes, and he's fuming about more than me being in New York right now.

He's anxious of something, and he's running.

"Answer me!"

I press my cheek against the coolness of the wall. My ears are ringing from all the yelling. "I just wanted to help you. I'm sorry, okay? I messed up. Just...just don't yell at me anymore. Please?"

He starts backing away from me, not breaking eye contact. "You're dead."

I watch blankly as he turns on his heel, going down the hallway of the small apartment. He's not running or moving very fast, but the boards are whining and moaning under his feet as he moves.

My eyes dart to the kitchen and spot Ponyboy who's blindly watching all of this go on. I plead to him with my eyes to help me but I know better than to think that he can do anything about this. Dallas Winston is bloody mad...and he's on a never ending rampage.

I hear things being thrown in my room and I quickly recognize what's going on.

It doesn't take me very long to reach my room where clothes are being pulled out of drawers and thrown on the bed beside my suite case.

"Stop it!" I shout at him, trying to push the clothes back in the drawers as he throws even more back out. "Dally, stop it! Don't do this! Just hear me out! Just sit down and talk to me."

He pulls a whole drawer out of the dresser, making it shatter against the hard floor. "There's no talking. You're on the next fucking train to Tulsa."

I clinch one of my tops in my hands. "No!" My voice surprises me, and it causes Dally to look up at me. I swallow, going for an easier tone. "I'm not leaving. Just hear me out. Please?"

"I don't want to hear it!" He starts blaring again, causing me to shut my eyes.

He passes me, brushing against my shoulder.

Next thing I know, a loud bang comes from my left. The dresser that was once nice and upright is now being lifted up and body slammed on the floor, busting the sides of it. It's so loud that there's a ringing sometime after it lands.

"Dally! Stop it!"

He doesn't. He tears the sheets off the bed, pulls the curtains off the window, and clears the clothes off the bed and onto the floor. I've never seen him act this way. He's hasn't been this heated or out of control in a long time.

"Dally!"

"I trusted you!" He comes to me again, pointing a finger in my face. "I gave you one fucking job and you go and pull this shit on me? I don't need this! You get the fucking bright idea to come to New York!? New York? Are you that goddamn stupid?"

I must be. I really must be. I'd never admit that to Dally though.

My heart is racing. I keep thinking about Dally making me leave. I think about the way he said that I was on the next train, but he didn't say anything about himself. I wasn't leaving Dally alone here, and I sure wasn't going back to Tulsa.

Now is not the time to start that fight. We just all have to take a deep breath and-

"Dally?" Ponyboy peers around the corner, making sure I'm alright and Dally hasn't killed me yet.

Dally's eyes don't part from mine as he growls, "Get outta here unless you want some of this. I'll deal with you later, believe me."

A fire rises in me, and I feel a tad bit more powerful than I did before. "This isn't his fault. Don't drag him into this."

His face is twisted in a knot that makes me sick to my stomach. He takes one step towards me, eyes raging. "You really shouldn't be making demands right now."

I breathe easier. Only a few inches away from me, I see into Dally's eyes. My mind wonders back to that photo I saw earlier and I wonder what happened to that sparkle - that brightness. Dally's eyes are blue, there's no mistaking that, but they are so lifeless and dark.

He's killing himself, and my heart goes soft. I remember my purpose in being here. It's to save Dally.

"What's wrong?" I whisper, the words barely floating off my lips. "Don't tell me it's because I lied to you because I know it's more than that."

I look up at him with optimistic and concerned eyes, but he doesn't speak.

My hand reaches out to touch him, and I barely graze his cheek the back of my hand.

I let out a weighted sigh. "Talk to me."

"How long you been here?" His tone is still rough and grungy, but it's softer and it gives my ears a break.

"Since I left."

Dally gazes behind his shoulder at Ponyboy standing towards the door. He motions towards him. "He's been here with you?"

I nod. "The whole time, yeah."

There's a sigh, and Dally turns away, letting some of that light back into his eyes.

* * *

About an hour later, Dally is at the kitchen table eating. Food always makes Dally happy and it makes me feel better knowing that he's not hungry and angry. Those are never two good combinations when it comes to Dally.

It makes it easier to go sit by him now. "Hey."

"I'm still pissed, you know."

I smirk, sensing his more easy going tone. "But you're going to forgive me. You always do."

I get a grunt as a comeback. Normally, there'd be a witty remark. One that would make us both laugh. Dally's been out of jokes for a long time now. It hurts more to see him now than it did back in Tulsa.

There's one thing that makes me breathe easier and that is knowing that Dally's here and far away from Dale and his goons. Dale may not be our biggest problem, but Dale's capable of much more. Dale shot Johnny in cold blood on the streets. Dale has no remorse. Dale lies through his teeth to police and they believe him. Dale is invincible right now, and he knows it.

It's eating Dally up to not be able to do anything. He talks about building an army, but there's no one to build it around. He's worried because Johnny was his best friend, and now he's dying because of Dale and probably because of Dally's connection with him. Dally's worried that if he gets anyone else involved, then it'll end the same way for them.

Dally knows a lot more about what happened to Johnny than I do. He doesn't tell anyone, not even me, but I know he knows the full story of why and how. He doesn't tell me because of Ponyboy and I know it. It's only going to make him feel worse about what happened, so Dally keeps the story to himself.

I don't want to know. I've been so hungry for information in the past month, and it's gotten me nowhere but in over my head. I cry for Johnny, and I feel bad, but I don't want to know. Not now anyway.

My hand rests on Dally's, hoping he won't knock me away and I'm thankful when he doesn't.

With his mouth still full, he asks me, "What have you done? What have you done while you're here? You said you wanted to help, what did you do?"

I glance over at Ponyboy who is busy cleaning up the place. We still haven't finished our renovations we had planned for this little place. I hate to tell him that cleaning's not going to help because we may not be here much longer if Dally has anything to do with it.

"Nothing," I tell Dally, looking back at him. "We haven't been here that long. We've just eaten pizza and watched TV."

That's when Ponyboy picks the perfect time to enter the conversation. "What about Rose?"

I can feel Dally's eyes shelling out grenades as I stare down. My heart drops to my stomach and I want nothing more than to march over to Ponyboy and throw him off the balcony.

He picked the perfect day to start telling the truth to everyone.

"Oh...I mean..."

It's too late for him to defend himself, Dally's already on it.

"You really need to learn to shut up once in a while," I mumble out.

Ponyboy gently sits the broom to the side and backs away. "Sorry. I'm...I'm going to go to my room."

"Rose?" Dally questions once he's gone, not wasting any time.

I pull my hair back behind my shoulders and shrug, trying to act cool about this situation and that I have nothing to hide. "Um, yeah. I...I went to see her, alright?"

"Alright?" he asks, sitting his sandwich down. That's when I know this isn't going to go well. "You sent to see _her_!?" His voice booms in my ear once again.

I wince, preparing myself to take my beating. "Yeah. It...It was nothing. We didn't talk about anything. We just talked about you."

"Was he there?"

With my eyes still down, I dare to ask. "Who?"

"You know who."

I could tell Dally the truth. I've lied and lied and look where it's gotten me. I should tell Dally everything that I said to Rose and what she said to me. I should tell him about his dad showing up and how I ran out of the house when he came near me. I should tell him about the gun Rose tried give me. I should tell him what I know about his dad and Maggot.

Instead, I do what I know how to do. Lie through my teeth. "No. No, he wasn't there."

A fist hits the table and Dally's on the move again. His mouth is at my ear as he harshly hisses, "Pack your shit. You're going home."

I don't back down, glaring back up at him. "I'm not leaving without you."

"You think I can't make you?"

I sneer. "Sure and you'll probably put me on that train, but what's stopping me from coming back? I'll tell you one thing, Dally, and it's that I'm not easily moved. I chose to come back to you because I love you so much, and I'm not leaving here until I'm one-hundred percent sure you're safe. You can try, but in the end, you can't make me stop wanting to protect you. I will _always _try to protect you, even if it kills me too. This is my fight too, Dally, and I'm not going anywhere."

That triggers something. I see the spark of fire happen in his eyes.

The floor vibrates under me as he stomps away. "Where are you going?" I ask, not turning around.

The door slamming shut gives me my answer.

Tears form in my eyes, and everything comes pouring out. I can't hold it in any longer. The sobs come and I lay my head down on the table and I cry.

"You okay, Dan?" Ponyboy's gentle voice asks.

I wipe away my tears and sit up. "Sorry, I just….I need to get some air."

* * *

It's colder in New York in the summer than it is in Oklahoma.

Oklahoma has always been my home. I've barely been out of Tulsa. This is the furthest I've ever gone in my entire life. My parents never left either and neither did their parents. My family has been stuck in that town full of shity people and shity problems for decades. Nothing changes. It's all the same.

It's not until recently that I find a hatred for Tulsa. It's my home. It should mean something to me.

When I think about Tulsa, I think about all the people I've loved and lost there. I think of their bodies in that grave yard, decaying in the ground. They all died before their time. That's what Tulsa did to them. It tore them apart. It killed them. That town is toxic, and it's lethal. Look at all the people rotting there. Look at all the unhappy people who make other people just as miserable as they are. Look at how many people who have died too young due to violence.

It doesn't feel like home there. It feels like a cage full of bad memories and haunting faces that follow me.

College is coming up. It's all Ponyboy and Darry talk about. There's a stack of papers on our table of all the letters Ponyboy's gotten. Some private colleges have already offered up some money. One college even wants him to come play track for them all the way in Boston.

Ponyboy's getting out of that town. He's told me.

It's me who's going to be stuck unless I do something about it.

The wind blows my face as I walk down the street. I don't know where I'm at or how far I've gone. I don't worry or think about any of that. I want to be alone with my mind and I want to walk. Just walk forever.

Dusk comes, and I know Dally will have a fit about me being out here this late.

But I don't know where I am, or how to get home.

I walk down blocks and pass shops. Eventually, they all look the same. It's as if I've passed the same people fifty times and I'm just a mouse in a maze, trying to find my cheese.

That's when I feel it:

Footsteps.

I pick up my speed, darting corners, but I still feel them creeping up on me with every turn I make and every time I try to lose them, they find their way back to me.

My feet carry me down the street. I keep my head forward and eyes straight and I'm panting. I'm almost in a full run, when finally, my feet decide to stop. Completely stop.

And I stand in the middle of the sidewalk, and the footsteps stop too.

"Well, if my eyes don't deceive me."

My breathing picks up. I have to force myself to speak. I don't turn around. I keep my composure and stay facing forward. My shoulders are arched back as if I'm ready to take on the world when really, I'm full of fear.

My voice doesn't work. My palms are sweaty.

I know who's behind me.

"_The_ Danielle Curtis standing in front of me."

People pass. They don't make eye contact. They're ghosts, just passing by. This is a horror movie, and I'm the main character with the villain right behind me.

I've been trapped...and I know it. I know who it is that stands behind me.

"Welcome to New York, Danni. It's nice to finally meet you."

_Skin head, dead head. Everybody gone bad. Trepidation, speculation. Everybody allegation. In the suite, on the news. Everybody dog food. Black male, black mail. Throw your brother in jail. All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us. All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us_

* * *

**A/N: **So, who is it? Hope you guys are glad that Dally's back! Thank you for reading and please **review**!


	6. Never Seems to Change

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the_ Outsiders_ or the song "O Death"

**A/N: **This is one of my favorite chapters in this story and I know you guys have been asking and waiting for it.

Sorry about the wait, I'm rereading past stories so I don't miss anything that I've said before.

* * *

_O Death. O Death. Won't you spare me over another year? Well what is this that I can't see. With ice cold hands takin' hold of me. When God is gone and the Devil takes hold who will have mercy on your soul? No wealth, no ruin, no silver, no gold. Nothing satisfies me but your soul._

The air is dense. The cool summer air hits me, turning my hair in all directions. Leaves blow across the empty street and strangers without faces slowly pace us, not looking twice.

"You know who I am, don't you?"

I keep my back to him, saving my eyes from seeing him for who he really is. I craved for this moment just a few months ago - to stare the villain right in the eye. Now I'm shaking, my voice almost gone.

There's a dryness in my throat. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing," he says simply. "Nothing at all. Maybe we could talk. That is, if you're up to it."

People continue to pass us, but not one will let their eyes go to us. We're in the middle of nowhere, just the two of us showing down. I'm trapped like a rat, and I can't run. There's imaginary lightening in the sky and the thunder shakes the ground. I'm in a horror movie. The monster is right behind me with his knife.

The true question is: will I be the one to make it out alive, or is this the movie where no one lives?

I lick my lips, trying to find some sort of strength deep inside of me. "I don't know if I want to."

I hear heavy footsteps behind me and my body goes tense. I could run right now and dare to see if he can catch me. There's something inside of me that wants to stay though. Something that's not scared of the person behind me and the rumors I've heard for months. Something that still wants to know the truth.

"I hear you have a lot of questions," he draws out his words. "I can clear them up for you in no time."

My hands go into fists. My palms are sweating and I shut my eyes.

The footsteps stop, and I feel a strong presence behind me. "You can turn around," he says. "I'm nothing to be scared of. Honest, Danni."

I wince at the sound of my name. I know his name, I expected he knew mine too, but it's all too haunting to hear it out loud and in person.

My legs and feet twitch with the thought of turning around. You know what they say, never look the devil in the eyes. Well, the devil is standing behind me, and he's begging me to turn around.

Rotating on my heel with my eyes still closed, my body faces him.

I take a deep breath before I unveil my eyes.

"Hello."

Eyes covered by sunglasses, a thick frame. His swollen and scared fingers hold a smoking cigar. His jacket reveals the hiding tattoos coating his tan skin. I study his face which is partially hidden by the sunglasses and he likes it that way. It leaves much up to the spectator as to what he's really hiding under there. His hair is greasy and pure black, matching his grungy five o'clock shadow.

No one has ever told me Maggot's age. I imagine it to be close to Dally's, but it seems like I'm standing in front of a thirty year old man.

Here's the moment. The moment I've been craving for.

My legs tremble with fear. "Hi."

The corners of his lips are curled up. "You look cold." He puts his cigar back up to his lips and takes a long draw. "Not used to this New York air I see. Smoke?"

I watch as he takes out an old tin box filled with cigarettes and a lighter.

They're homemade. I can see that by the seal.

"It's not going to kill you," he says, pushing the box towards me. He stops and sneers loosely. "Well...in time I suppose."

I shake my head, knowing better than to take them.

I lick my lips again, trying to ease the dryness of my throat. I'm still terrified by who stands in front of me, but I'm also memorized. "You said you'd answer my questions."

"Jumping to the point I see." Smoke rolls off his lips like a train. He points up the building we're standing in front of. "See this? It's a coffee shop. You drink coffee, Danni?"

* * *

The warmth of the coffee calms my nerves for the time being.

I try not to look directly at him, fearing the poison. Instead I focus on the people around us. No one will look over here. No one knows I'm here. No one knows who I am. They don't care. I'm alone in this world.

Maggot taps his finger against the table, watching me drink my coffee.

I swallow, my palms still sweating and trembling. "Why were you following me?"

He loosely shrugs and picks up his mug. "Thought you looked familiar. I heard rumors that you were in town. I had to see for myself."

My heart skips a beat as I think of the only person who knows me and that I'm here. I had trusted Dally's parents. I think about Rose and I quickly dismiss the possibility of her telling anyone. Then my mind goes to the shadow that showed up soon after Rose's and my talk. The person who was once was close with and worked with Maggot's father.

Dally's told me he hates his father for many reasons, but could he be so cynical to tell the enemy that I'm here?

"How do you know what I look like?" I ask him.

The steam rises from the mug and up his nose. He sits the mug down and picks his cigar back up. "That's one thing you should learn to know about me, Danni. I know everything."

His voice sends a chill down my spine. It's rough yet calm yet threatening all at the same time. He's hard to read, and that's what scares me the most right now. I'm not sure whether I should be here, or be running.

He sends me vibes that tell me to trust him, but fear is pulling me back.

"You must want something from me," I practically whisper, still trying not to stare directly at him.

"From you?" He raises an eyebrow that comes up over the top rim of his glasses. "No. Why, do you have something to offer me?"

I quickly shake my head. "No."

He sips on his coffee again, still studying me. Or at least I think he is. I can't tell anything because of those stupid glasses of his. I can't see the darkness and horror he's hiding from me.

"I see. Tell me, Danni, how is Dallas?"

I gulp, knowing better than to tell him. "Fine." A spurge hits me and I find a hint of strength. "You should know though, right? You know everything."

He laughs at that, and I panic again. He sits back comfortably in his seat. "You catch on fast I see."

I turn my head away, fighting back the tears.

Suddenly, something warm touches my hand, and I don't pull away. "You can trust me."

I look at him this time, my heart racing. Small tears run down my cheeks. "Why should I trust you? You ordered Dale to have me killed. Dale shot one of my friends. Dale killed someone I know. Tell me again how I should be trusting _you_."

He pulls away from me, obviously upset. "You shouldn't jump to conclusions, my dear. I told Dale to find out who killed his friend and then do the same to them. I didn't know who you were at the time or that you were involved or-"

"You know everything," I snap. "You had to know."

The smoke from his cigar burns my eyes as he blows it in my face. "You see, dear, Dallas and I lost touch a long time ago."

"What about my brother?" I ask. "Dale said he was important. Why is he important?"

"You'll have to ask Dale."

"No. You know," I say, gasping at how this has transformed into a neutral or friendly conversation.

Maggot leans back in his seat, smirking. "Let me tell you a story. He's incredibly flawed - he's stubborn, he's angry, he's prideful, and he screws up. He's Dallas Winston, and he deserves more than what people give him. Even if he thinks he doesn't deserve it. I don't hate Dally like you think I do. Dally was my best friend, Danni. He's my brother."

* * *

"Winston, c'mon, It's dinner time."

It's January in New York. Dallas Winston got here yesterday. I've been here for a week now. We'll both get out in a month. Dally will go back home to Tulsa, I will go back to business here, and we'll be the dynamic duo we always have been and always will be.

Not even jail can separate us.

Or so we think.

Chubs, Dally's cell mate, leads the way down the hall. Dally's figured out the more he stays with Chubs, the better off he'll be. Kind of like a guard dog. If you're taking down a town with a big pit-bull by your side, no one's going to mess with you.

If you're in jail and have a big black guy whose hand is the size of your head, no one's going to mess with you.

Dally takes his normal seat next to me. It's been a while since I've seen him. We got separated when he was ten and his folks decided to send him to Tulsa to live with his aunt to keep him out of trouble. Trouble is Dally's middle name; nothing can keep him away from it. He craves it. Anyway, ever since he moved he's been coming up here during the summer.

Things haven't changed.

We got busted robbing a liquor store with a loaded gun.

My dad's people will get us out of here in no time. We just have to sit back and enjoy the ride once again.

"Hey, Romeo, do you know what Chubs is in for?" the kid next to me asks.

"What?"

"He got arrested at the airport...for ten pounds of crack. Get it!?"

Everyone laughs, I even smirk. Chubs could take out any of these guys, including me. He's too soft for all that stuff though. At night I hear him crying in his room. Dally says it's what's keeping him awake, but I know there's a deeper meaning.

This is what I call the "substitute gang." My boys are out there in the real world, besides Dally, so this is what I got to work with. Romeo is in Cell B, across from Dally and Chubs. He's got it all to himself because he's considered to be "mentally unstable." He's been in here the longest. He's got another five years before he's up for parole.

No one's really sure what the real story behind him being here. If you saw him on the outside, you wouldn't think he could potentially kill and man. He's real handsome and sophisticated looking. Like a big business suburban dad type.

Hell, even I was a little shocked when I came to find out he decapitated a guy.

You can never tell about Romeo. He's got those weird eyes. We tend to stay away from him whenever possible.

Wanker's been in here second longest to Romeo. He's my roommate. I didn't try to learn his real name for multiple reasons. The guy looks like a dick. Not like an asshole, but a real dick. Like a penis. He's got a real small head and a big body and he's_ always_ covered in cum.

His personality matches his looks.

The only reason we talk to Wanker is because he's a con artist. He wins every game of poker, always has chocolate and a fresh pack of fags, and he's always running around with hamburgers from fast-food restaurants. And trust me, when you're in here, a hamburger is a God sent. Wanker would be good to have on the outside with me.

T-Bone came in about a week after I did. The cops picked him up off the street corner for soliciting money and disturbing the peace. It was about the fifth time that month the cops brought him in. T-Bone practically begged them to lock him away.

Kid couldn't be but about thirteen. No one's really asked. He always says eighteen when the guards come around, but damn, if he's eighteen then I'm seventy-two. I'm fifteen, yet everyone here thinks I'm twenty, but that's believable. This kid is just lying through his teeth and I hate a liar.

"T-Bone, if you take your size times about ten, you'd be the size of ole Chubs here!"

T-Bone's the skinniest kid I've seen, and believe me, I've seen some pretty strung out kids. Heroin will do that to you. That and meth and any other drugs you find on the streets here.

Romeo's forehead hits the table with a loud bang. "Everything I love is gone."

Wanker rolls his eyes, crunching a Pepsi can. "Oh for fuck's sake, here we go again."

"I'm serious," Romeo groans. "Do you think if I write her-"

"Romeo, you came after her with an _ax," _Dally informs him_._ "Bitch ain't gonna read no love letter you try to send her."

He sniffles like he's on the verge of tears. Knowing Romeo, he will cry. Then he'll get his ass kicked but he deserves that. "I love her, man. I-I don't know what I'm going to do without her."

"Hey, Rome," Wanker sneers, "y-you ever think about what she's doing right now? Like who she's fucking? H-Hey! If I get out before you, you think I can take that for a ride? She's real cheap, right?"

"I'll kill you!"

"Calm yourself, little man." Chubs steps in-between them.

He causally bends over and picks up the trays of food Romeo knocked on the floor when he sprang up into attack mode. Chubs always hates to see food go to waste. He had to fight for food when he was a kid what with being number five out of eleven.

T-Bone looks up with big eyes as Wanker and Romeo both sit back down. "What happened anyway, Rome?"

Romeo grunts, stabbing his knife into the cheap plastic table top. "Nothing."

"Go on and tell the kid, Rome!" Wanker chimes in. "Ain't like we all ain't heard it a million and one times."

Romeo groans loudly. "Winston, you tell 'im. I-I can't do it."

Dally swallows down his last piece of bread he got Wanker to steal from Romeo when he wasn't looking. He clears his throat: "Well, you see here T-Bone, Romeo don't look like the violent type, right?"

"Right?"

He takes a long sip of his dark brown water. "Guy had the perfect life you might say. Wife, kids, a job, a nice house. Well now, Romeo thought he had it made too. That's what got him in trouble."

"Uh-huh."

"Because you can't have the perfect American Pie dream, T. You just can't. Shit happens. It's fucking life. Well, Romeo comes home to his beautiful wife one day a little early. He figures he can slip in his sausage and get back to work before anyone has a chance to notice. He thinks about turning back, but boy is he horny. So he goes on inside."

There's another loud sniffle that everyone automatically ignores.

Dally clears his throat again. "He starts to hear these weird sounds from the bedroom. Now, if it'd been me, I'd think the broad was just pleasuring herself. No biggie, right? Well Romeo here, he goes into the bedroom. You know what he finds, kid?"

"Someone was pleasuring her for her?"

"Smart kid! You know what Romeo proceeded to do?"

Wanker, with his mouth full of Romeo's potatoes, spews out, "Don't give him all the details, Winston. I'm trying to eat!"

"I want to know!" T-Bone whines.

Chubs shakes his bowed head like he's paying his own set of respects. I laugh, enjoying the show.

"Mary! I'm sorry Mary!" Romeo cries.

Dally leans back in his seat, finishing off his milk. "Lucky for Romeo, he's got a brand new chainsaw in the garage."

T-Bone doesn't react. He quietly stares at Romeo as if he's taking it in. After a while, he goes back to eating like Dally told him just another bullshit fairy tale.

"He has to be a smart ass, Romeo, because being good looking is not an option."

Days go by. I've got operations going on outside. Big operations that will bring in enough money to make me the king of this town. My life is on the line and I'm not going to let anyone stand in my way of taking over the empire my father left to me. My father died just a few months ago. It's my turn now to take over this town.

Dally's too busy gambling away cigarettes to notice or care. Dally likes to sit back and come second to me. I come up with the plan to rob this store and he goes along with it. We weren't dangerous kids. We were just bored with our own lives and we wanted to spice things up a bit by getting into some trouble here and there. We thought we were the cool kids. We had put gang and we just liked to get drunk and have some fun. Nothing series.

This is the big leagues now. Everything's about profit and winning the war of life.

I just get done making a deal with one of the guards, when Dally comes over to me, that stupid kid grin on his face. "What, you bribe him with some of Wanker's cheese burgers again?"

I shake my head, counting my new cash. "Not exactly." I pull out the brown bag from my jacket pocket.

His eyes go wide and I smile. I expect him to appreciate it. I'm making us rich. I'm getting us by in jail. What he does next is something I'll never forgive. Dally turned his back on me.

XXX

"You were dealing out drugs," I point out the obvious.

Maggot nods, tapping his fingers against the table again. "No one leaves the gang. I made an acceptation for Dally. I didn't want to, but I did. He's my friend. I respect him. Always have."

I shake my head, not buying his good ole boy act. "But Dally's back in now."

"I never wanted to lose Dally. He's a good member and he's gold to me. Dally made a deal with me to save his brother. Dally's in. I'm not cutting him any slack this time. I own Dally. I saved his life the last time, and I will not do it again."

He throws a few bills down on the table and stands up.

His shoulder bumps up against mine just before he leaves. "Tell Dally to give me a call."

* * *

I rest my head against the door before I have the nerve to open it.

Almost immediately, Dally grabs my arm and pulls me in. His grip tightens as he drags me to the living room and gets at eye level with me. "You don't listen, do you?"

I wince at the fierceness of his voice. I've held back tears up until this point. I feel them slowly escaping from the corners of my eyes. "I'm sorry."

He seems almost taken aback by how quickly I apologized. "This town is dangerous. You can't just go take a merry fucking stroll down the street, Curtis."

"I know," I say softly, rubbing my eyes. "I'm sorry."

He lets go of my arm. I'm not sure if he's softened by the tears or he's glad that I'm not arguing with him. Either way, the yelling has stopped. His eyes aren't as angry.

Dally runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "Jesus, Curtis. You're making my hair turn gray. Don't...don't go anywhere without me, got it?" He points a pointed finger in my face.

I nod, wrapping my arms around me. My heart hasn't calmed down since the conversation with Maggot. I'm still just as stunned and terrified as I was a few minutes ago. It's hard to look at Dally knowing what I know now.

Dally parts from me and sits down on the couch beside two empty bottles of beer and a newly open one. I know they aren't Pony's.

I reluctantly sit down next to Dally and pull my knees up to my chest. "You mad at me?"

He shakes his head, sipping on the bottle. "You're just lucky I like you, Curtis. You're still not off the hook for all this shit though. Do you know how much it cost me to get down here?"

"I didn't ask you to come," I point out.

I assume he's still harboring some lingering fury because he's face goes red.

I turn my head before he can lash out at me. I'm surprised by the fact that he doesn't say anything. Though I'm still mad about Dally being here, it does make me feel better about a lot of things.

Sighing, I face him again. "Sorry. I am glad you're here though."

"I know." He snorts, drinking again. "I'm always a pleasure to be around."

I gaze down at my hands, the conversation from earlier weighing heavily on my chest. "There's something I need to tell you."

"What?"

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the blow. "When I was walking, I...I..."

"Spit it out."

I make eye contact with him, trying not to tear up again. My mouth twitches with the words just itching to spill out. My heart aches and my head is dizzy.

Finally, I find my voice, "Maggot knows we're here."

"What!?"

He doesn't give me a chance to answer. He's on his feet and he's pacing the poor floor under him. His eyes are dangerously red and he can't seem to find the right words to scream.

Finally, he stops, and he grabs me hard. "Did he talk to you?"

"Dally-"

"What did he say!?" he screams in my face.

Tears flood out. I've never seen him so mad and worried before. His whole face is red and I'm sobbing myself. Ponyboy comes into the room, hearing the commotion too. He stands protectively behind me, but I know Dally's anger isn't pointed at me.

"I-"

"Damnit, answer me!"

"Yes!" I shout, shocked by my own voice. "Yeah," I say softer. "He told me about you."

This causes him to take a step back. "About me? What about me?"

The phone begins to ring, saving me from answering. Ponyboy drifts off to get it, and Dally starts pacing the room again. I cough on my own sobs as I realize what's happening.

"Dally?" Ponyboy calls from the kitchen. "There's a phone call for you."

Hesitantly, Dally parts from me and jerks the phone out of Pony's hand. "Hello?"

"Did you really think you could hide from me? Welcome home, Dallas Winston. Welcome home, my friend."

_No wealth, no ruin, no silver, no gold. Nothing satisfies me but your soul. O Death. Well I am Death, none can excel. I'll open the door to heaven or hell. O Death. O Death. My name is Death and the end is here._

* * *

**A/N: **So yes, a lot of you were correct.

Thank you all so much for the continued support and reviews. It's really what's making this story run. Even though I've found through recent traffic that not many people are reading this (not many at all), I still have amazing people who are reading because they give me their support and that's why I'm continuing. With that being said, I thank you for reading and please don't forget to **review**!


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